


The Stories of a Simple Life

by OwOwhatsThis



Category: Naruto, Naruto The Abridged Comedy Fandub Spoof Series Show, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Fluff and Crack, I don't think I spelled Suessical right, M/M, Memes, OOC, OOCness, Oh God Yes, Other, Out of Character, Randomness, hhhh, lots of crack, suessical
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-04-19 13:26:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14238273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OwOwhatsThis/pseuds/OwOwhatsThis
Summary: A book of short stories with a pinch of crack and vine refrences. This may actually lead to one big story… you may never really know. Just keep in mind that a child is trying![Most likely language and attempted lemons òωó]





	1. Chapter 1

  It was a beautiful morning. Naruto stretched his arms letting out a yawn. Damn, his back sure did hurt but he had chosen to ignore that. Hoping out of bed, Naruto made his way into the kitchen. He lived in a large apartment complex in a one room, two bathroom apartment. 

  Picking up the remote to the tv he turned it on, barely giving it a spare glance to see what was on. But it's not like he cared anyway. Going through his pantry he wrinkled his face.  _Hmm… which one for breakfast??_ Naruto thought longband hard staring at the heaven of ramen in front of him. Other than water and some other snacks, everybody was pretty sure that all Naruto had in his pantry was an array of ramen, but just different flavors. Once, a silver-haired angel came to Naruto's window telling him that he should eat more vegetables, but of course Naruto did not listen.

  After his beautiful breakfast Naruto washed up and got ready for his day. He wore his usual which was an orange and black jacket with matching orange pants even though it is 90 degrees outside Naruto still insists on wearing it. Slipping on his sandals Naruto turned off the tv and went out the door. Sense his apartment room was on the third floor he had to take the stairs down. Making a five minute trip into a thirty minute trip was one of Naruto's great specialties along with annoying a few people here and there.

  As he made it down the final flight of stairs he noticed a certain dark haired boy leaning on the apartment wall like some kind of gangster. This was none other than Uchiha Sasuke, Naruto's greatest rival. "Hey Sasuke what are you doing over here?" Naruto asked running over to him.  "Nothing." was Sasuke's reply.  "Wow it's amazing to see someone like you let your gaurd down like that." Naruto grinned. "Hn." Sasuke looked away.

  "Oh! And that reminds me! Are you doing anything this week?" Naruto asked.

  "It's none of your business." Sasuke glared.

"Well I'm going to come over you house then! Oh my did you just say _sounds great_? That's cool, well bye!" Naruto waved and ran off. 

  Sasuke had a look of utter shock on his face. Something tells him thhat this is not the start of something good. But sadly, there was nothing he could do now. Naruto was coming over and was gonna go all out on thhe poor Uchiha. _All I can do is pray to whatever god there is,_ Sasuke sighed mentally. Now to wait. 


	2. Sasuke's Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‹●◆●› ♭ $ ★  
>  ♪ ☆ ¤

  Sasuke let out a sigh as a certain blonde sat next to him on the couch. Ignoring the repeated questions on what they were going to watch, Sasuke turned the tv onto Netflix. Naruto's eyes widened. "I didn't know you wanted to  _Netflix and chill,_ Sasuke." he grinned. 

  "Dobe, don't you know that when you  _Netflix and chill_ that's how you end up with  _chill-_ dren?" Sasuke glanced at Naruto, who currently had the look on his face like Sasuke had the plauge. 

  "Wh-What have I done? I've awoken the demon!" Naruto gripped his hair. 

  Sasuke stared at him blankly, like the tiny Sasuke's running his mind had dropped dead. "H-Hey Sasuke, what's your favorite song?"

  "Photograph."

  Naruto screamed jumping down from the couch gripping his hair tighter. "Shit shit shit! Sasuke, snap out of it! This is not the time." Naruto growled. "What do you mean, Naruto?" Sasuke didn't look down. 

  Naruto sat down on the floor letting the tension leave his body, then he calmly approached Sasuke, crawling onto the couch. He caressed Sasuke's cheek with a hand, forcing the raven to look him in his baby blue eyes. "Sasuke…" he mumbled. 

  "What?" the raven returned the look.

  Leaning in closer so that their faces were only centimeters away Naruto's eyes squinted. "Ah, I see." he murmured.

  "See what?" Sasuke frowned

  "What you've really been doing." Naruto pulled away. "And what exactly is that?" Sasuke crossed his arms.

  "You've… you've been… you've been taking drugs from Gaara!" Naruto yelled pointing.

  "Drugs? Gaara? I don't do drugs! You're the one who acts high!" 

  "Hmp, yeah." 

  After an eventful day, Naruto returned to his apartment with a sigh. That Sasuke was really somethin'. And Naruto now admits that he might have a small crush on the guy, but he'll ignore that for now. 

 

 

   _ **A strory to be finished in another time and another place...**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A child is sleepy...


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

 Itachi: Naruto..

 Naruto: Huh? Oh, hey Itachi!

 Itachi: Well.. yea... umm, Naruto, I was wondering if you'd do the pocky challengge with me?

 Naruto: I don't see why not.

 Itachi: *Puts a Pocky in his mouth*

 Naruto: *Bites down*

 Itachi: *Bites down a bit more*

Naruto: *Does the same*

 Itachi: *Is a literal centimeter away from Naruto's lips*

 Naruto: *Looks down and blushes as he kisses Itachi*

 Itachi: *Deepens the kiss*

 Naruto: I-Itachi... 

 Itachi: *Pulls away blushing and sighs* You win...

 Naruto: *Jumps up* Yess!

 

 {Static}

 

Sasori: Guess what?

Deidara: What?

Sasori: My parents were puppets....

{Flash}

_(Young) Sasori: *Comes home* Hey K'._

_Kermit: Hi there Sasori._

_Sasori: Did Child Protective Services come today?_

_Kermit: Yeah but I took care of them. *Pats two bodies*_

{Flash End}

Sasori: *Sighs* Good times..

Deidara: Y-Yeah...

 

{Static}

 

Naruto: Hey…

Sasuke: Hey…

Naruto: So…

Sasuke: Eh…

Naruto: *Awkwardly hugs*

Sasuke: *Awkwardly hugs back*

 

{Static}

 

*Sasuke and Itachi work at Waffle House*

*Sasuke and Itachi are fighting*

Naruto: Can I get a waffle?

Itachi: *Too busy banging Sasuke's head on the counter top*

Naruto: Can I get a waffle?

 

{Static}

 

Karin: So you hangin' out with Sasuke?! I saw you yesterday!

Naruto: Ka-Karin, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!!!

Karin: *Pulls out a gun* I won't hesitate bitch *Shoots*

 

{Static}

 

*Iruka and Kakashi are driving*

Kakashi: "Road Work Ahead"? Yeah, I sure hope it does.

 

{Static}

 

Nutella: *Says do not microwave*

Deidara: *Puts it in the microwave*

Nutella: *Starts to explode*

Deidara: OH MY--

*Explosion*

 

{Static}

 

Sasuke: *Holds up the old Team 7 photo* ♪Look at this photograph

 

{Static}

 

Kakashi: *Smiles*

 

{static}

 

Iruka: *Twerks*

Kakashi: *G a s p*

Iruka: *Who do you think tought Naruto?

 

{Static}

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God bless
> 
> Did chu get my refrences?
> 
> ÙωÚ


	4. The Question for Gaara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something I was reminded of...

{In a Distant Land Called Art}

 

My Friend: Hey I have a question... or a thought. 

Me: Go ahead.

My Friend: Does Gaara use his sand as a sex toy during sex?

Me: (●•●)… Gaara?

Gaara: I… this isn't any of your business. *Disappears into sand*


	5. Jinchuriki's with Hats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mew...  
> Disclaimer: I don't own Llamas with Hats or Naruto

 

  _Disclaimer: I don't own Llama's with Hats or Naruto_

* * *

 

 

Gaara: Oh…hey…How did he get here?

Naruto: Gaaaara, what did you do?!

Gaara: Me? Uh, I didn't do this!

Naruto: Explain what happened, Gaara!

Gaara: I've never seen him before in my life!

Naruto: Why did you kill this person, Gaara?

Gaara: I do not kill people. That is…that is my least favorite thing to do.

Naruto: Tell me, Gaara, exactly what you were doing before I came home.

Gaara: Alright, well…I was upstairs…

Naruto: Okay…

Gaara: I was uh…I was sitting in my room…

Naruto: Yes?

Gaara: reading a book…

Naruto: Go on…

Gaara: And, uh, well this guy walked in…

Naruto: Okay…

Gaara: So, I went up to him…

Naruto: Yes…

Gaara: And I…I stabbed him 37 times in the chest.

 

(Silence.)

 

Naruto: Gaaaaaaaaaaaaara, that KILLS people!

Gaara: Oh! Well, I didn't know that!!

Naruto: How could you not know that?!

Gaara: Yeah, I'm in the wrong here. I SUCK.

 

(silence)

 

Naruto: What happened to his hands?

Gaara: What's that?

Naruto: His hands. Why—why are they missing?

Gaara: Well, I kind of umm…cooked them up. And ate them.

 

(silence)

 

Naruto: Gaaaaaaara!

 Gaara: Well, I—I was hungry. And well, you know, when you crave hands…

Naruto: Why on earth would you do that?!

Gaara: I was hungry for hands! Gimme a break!

Naruto: Gaaaaaaaaaaara!

Gaara: My stomach was making the rumblies.

Naruto: Gaara!

Gaara: That only hands would satisfy!

Naruto: What is wrong with you, Gaara?!

Gaara: Well, I kill people and I eat hands! That's—that's two things!

 

* * *

 

 

[Fin]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Owo that was aloot


	6. The Child Naruto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This child does not own Naruto or the 'Hi Stranger' script δεδ

 

 

{static}

 

*Child Naruto is in Family Dollar with Sasuke*

Naruto: *Picks up a bag of candy*

Sasuke: Put that back, Naruto.

Naruto: *Looks at it then throws it at Sasuke*

Sasuke: *Leans down and whispers* Try me bitch.

Naruto: Fuck you daddy!

Sasuke: Naruto don't play with me!

Naruto: I got that from you! *Sticks his tongue out* Now where are the pills?

 

{static}

 

Naruto: *In a banana suit playing the accordion* 

Neji: *Sees Naruto* Uhh… you okay?

Naruto: *Stops playing* Oh, hi there Neji.

Neji: Eh… nevermind...

 

{static}

 

 Itachi lay quietly on the white sheets surrounding him. His long raven hair flowing onto his bare back and covering his dark eyes. "Hi stranger." he mused. "It's been a while. I've missed you."

 There was silence. "It's okay, you can look at my butt." he smiled slightly. I feel like I can be vulnerable around you." 

 The white room shifted into scenery of a large sakura tree with falling petals. "Do you like this tree I made? Cool, right? I thought it was cool." Itachi's expression calmed. "It's soo hard to make things sometimes, you know? It just takes so much mental energy and I get so tired. I just wanna sit here and relax with you."

 The room shifted again saturating into golds and yellows, making Itachi's face glow. "Wow," he sighed, "check out this sunset. It's so nice to stop and take this all in. Really makes you enjoy being alive. Even you. I love looking at you." Itachi reached his hand out, "I want to remember all your shapes…

"Ah, beautiful."

 "I've been thinking about you alot lately. I see you trying to do so many things at once, worrying about a decision you made, or worried that you said the wrong thing to someone."

 Itachi frowned. "You're so hard on yourself. But you're wonderful  and worthy of being loved. You really are. You just have to let yourself believe it."

 Laying flat on his chest, Itachi looked down. "Well, I know you're really busy, and you probably have to go but I'm glad I got to see you for a minute.

 "I love you."

 

* * *

_[T'End]_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Script not owned


	7. How Naruto and Sasuke became friends

Naruto: I like weed.

Sasuke: I like cocaine.

Naruto: Lets be friends.

Sasuke: Best friends.

Naruto: Lovers.

Sasuke: Friends with benefits.

Naruto: Okaaay~!


	8. Chapter 8

Sasuke: ...

Naruto: ...

Sai: ...

Sasuke: Sai.. what are you doing with Naruto?

Sai: Stretching...?

Naruto: Ye-Yeah..

Sasuke: Okay, bye then.

 

{Static}

 

Naruto: *Has on spandex*

Sasuke: Hey Narut— What the...

Naruto: What?

Sasuke: Oh nothing.

 

{static}

 

Kakashi: That's it! *Jumps over the desk and grasps Iruka's hands* I knew with the right buttons pushed you'd give in. *Leans foward* Right, Iruka-Sensei?

Iruka: U-Uhh

Naruto: Is this fan-service?

 

{static}

 

Midoriya: *To Bakugou* Bitch *laughs*, why you mad? Cuz my pussy pops severely, and yours don't, huh?

 

{static}


	9. Save te Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> B i n c h

Midoriya: *Having a normal conversation*

Bakugou: *Walks in* Deku!

Midoriya: Oh god… *Turns around* Hhiii Kacchan.. how are you?

Bakugou: Where are they?!

Midoriya: I-I don't know what you're talking about!

Bakugou: *Lifts him up by the collar of his shirt* Don't play dumb Deku!

Midoriya: I-I honestly don't even know why you're mad!

Bakugou: Me either! *Lets go and walks away triggeredly*

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OwO I thought I died


	10. Sasuke is Amazing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protecc the children

 

 

_Amazing Sasuke, as feathered as feathered can be now~_

_Amazing Sasuke, It was all for sale~!_

 

{static}

 

Ok, got that out

 

{static}

 

Naruto: Hey...

Sasuke: Hey...

Naruto: So...

Sasuke: Eh...

Naruto: Hasn't this happened before?

Sasuke: Hmm...

 

{static}

 

 Naruto: Hey.. I've been thinking about this all day..

Gaara: Yeah?

Naruto: If your leg get cut off, would it hurt?

Gaara: ...Yes...

Naruto: But where are you gonna feel the pain?

Gaara: In your leg..

Naruto: But how are you gonna feel the pain...

Gaara: ...If your leg is gone! Damn you're smart as shit..

Naruto: I smoke thems there trees

 

{static}

 

 

 


	11. Taylor-ko

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hhh...

Deidara: Oh hey pretty flower

Tayor-Ko: HI THErE

Deidara: would you like to blow up?

Taylor-ko: No. I want to grow up to be a girl and have lemon.


	12. Naruto and Sasuke's Day Out

 

  Naruto walked through the hallway of his apartment. He finally persuaded  ***Cough*forcedagain*Cough*** Sasuke to come over. Naruto applauded himself for getting the Uchiha to come over and even clead up around the place (though it was not that dirty). 

  There was then a knock at the door. "Coming!" Naruto yelled as he ran over and opened the door. 

  There stood Sasuke standing straight with his hands tucked away in his pockets. "Hey Sasuke! I'm glad you could make it!"

  "Yeah, me too." he deadpaned. 

  Naruto gave Sasuke a slight nudge as he pulled him in and shut the door. "Want somethin' to eat?" Naruto asked.

  "Thanks, I already ate."

  "Oh..." 

  Sasuke's uncaring aura had brought worry upon the blonde. "Hey Sasuke... you good?"

  Sasuke, who was staring into space looked over at the blonde. "Hmm? Oh, yeah." Naruto could have sworn he saw Sasuke's pale face fluster.

  Little did Naruto know, that everything in Sasuke's vision looked like a yaoi manga.

 

{static}

 

Iruka: Kakashi?

Kakashi: Hm?

Iruka: *Blushes* I was hoping.. if... well, we could.. you know..

Kakashi: Oh..?

 

{static}

 

Why did I turn everyone in my class against Sasuke?

 

{static}

 

Angry Mob of Students: BRING ITACHI BACK! BRING ITACHI BACK!


	13. More of My Weird Shit

 

 

 Hidan: Honey, I've been arested so many times that a police car is basically my Uber

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading ●∞●


End file.
